Embracing My New Body: Confidence While on a Health Journey

Today I’m peeling back the layers (both literal and metaphorical) on a topic that’s quite the journey for me right now: embracing my new body and learning to dress for it while working on being healthy and losing weight. Buckle up, because we’re about to get real, raw, and oh-so-stylish!

The Emotional Impact of Weight Gain: From Size 4 to Size More

Let’s kick things off with a confession. I used to be a size 4, strutting around at 5’1” like I owned the world. Fast forward to 43, and I’m now in a size 10. Cue dramatic music! The culprit? A deadly cocktail of stress eating, pandemic-induced laziness, and a sprinkle of good old depression.

The pandemic turned my life upside down, and not in a fun, rollercoaster kind of way. Instead of living my best life, I found myself living in stretchy pants and oversized tees, stress-eating my feelings away. And surprise, surprise, those feelings tasted like cookies and ice cream.

But honestly, who could resist a little comfort food during such an intense time? I remember standing in front of the fridge at 3 a.m., clutching a spoon and a tub of ice cream like it was my lifeline. The next day, I swore I’d start eating healthy, only to find myself knee-deep in a bag of chips by lunch. It was like my taste buds were on a revenge tour against my skinny jeans. And let’s be real—skinny jeans were not winning that battle.

Body Betrayal and Responsibility: A New Perspective to Embracing My New Body

For years, I felt like my body had betrayed me. I used to gain a little weight during the winter, but as soon as the spring sun came out, those few extra pounds would just melt away. It was as if my body had a natural reset button. But this time, things were different. The weight didn’t come off as easily, and I found myself feeling more and more disconnected from the body I once knew.

However, I realized that it wasn’t just my body changing—it was life, stress, and habits that had shifted too. I had to take responsibility for myself and put a plan in place to get back to feeling like me. While I may never be the size 4 I used to be, I can still look and feel better in my clothes, appreciating the person I am today.

Insecurities About My Arms and Shoulders

Let’s get real—I’ve always been insecure about my arms. They used to be thick and muscular, something I wasn’t always fond of because it didn’t make me feel feminine. Now, they’ve become flabby, and I find myself wishing for the toned, muscular arms I once had. But those insecurities also extend to my shoulders. I’ve always thought they were really wide, especially in contrast to my small boobs, making me feel unbalanced at times.

And don’t even get me started on trying to find a flattering top! I once wore a sleeveless blouse that made me look like I was trying out for the Olympic shot put team. My shoulders looked so broad, I thought someone might hand me a javelin and tell me to get in line. Needless to say, that blouse never saw the light of day again.

The Evolution of My ASS: A Family Trait

Another significant change in my body has been my behind. I went from having a nicely shaped behind to having a fairly large one. This is largely due to genes—90% of the women in my family have wide hips and big butts, and I can’t lie! or whatever Sir Mix A-Lot said. It’s something I’ve had to learn to embrace as part of who I am.

I remember the day I realized just how much my butt had grown. I was trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans that used to fit like a glove. After what felt like an Olympic-level struggle, I finally got them on—only to find that the waistband was somewhere around my knees and the zipper was staging a protest. I knew then that it was time to embrace the fact that my behind had officially joined the “Big Booty Club,” and let’s just say, there’s no going back!

Understanding My Hourglass Shape: Shaping My Style

Even though I don’t have a large bust and have a bit of a stomach pudge, I still have an hourglass figure. My waist is well-defined, with my hips and shoulders being about the same width. Here’s how I style my body:

• Accentuating the Waist: Belts, wrap dresses, and high-waisted pants are my go-to. They highlight my narrowest point, creating a balanced silhouette.
• Balancing the Bust: To create balance, wear tops with details like ruffles, patterns, or embellishments near the bust area. This can help draw attention upward and add visual volume.
• Supporting the Arms: When it comes to my arms, I prefer cap sleeves or t-shirts that don’t hug the arms. These styles offer a flattering fit without drawing attention to areas I’m insecure about. I also love halters or straps that are closer to the neckline, like racerbacks, as they create a more balanced look for my wide shoulders.
• Highlight the Hips: Fitted skirts, pencil skirts, and bodycon dresses are great for showcasing your curvy hips and butt. Make sure these pieces are well-tailored to avoid looking bulky.
• Structured Shoulders: Tops and blazers with structured shoulders can help balance your wide hips by creating a more streamlined silhouette.
• Avoid Excess Fabric: Stay away from clothing with too much fabric or overly loose-fitting styles. They can drown your figure. Instead, opt for fitted clothing that hugs your curves in all the right places.
• Jeans and Pants: Go for high-waisted wide-leg jeans or pants. These styles will emphasize your waist while balancing out your hips and butt.
• Monochrome Outfits: Wearing a single color from head to toe can elongate your body and create a sleek, balanced look.

Body Positivity and Style Resources for Black Women Over 40

Here are some resources that helped me embrace my new body positivity and dress with confidence, tailored specifically for Black women over 40:

1. Grown and Curvy Woman: This blog, run by a Black woman, celebrates plus-size fashion with a focus on confidence at any age. You’ll find outfit ideas, body positivity tips, and more.
2. The Thick Style by Kiah Alexis: Kiah Alexis, a Black plus-size fashion blogger, offers style inspiration and tips for women with curvier figures, focusing on how to feel fabulous at any size.
3. Fashion Over Forty Podcast: A podcast that discusses fashion trends, body positivity, and style tips specifically for women over 40. They often feature Black stylists and designers.
4. Simply Sonja: A fashion blog by Sonja, a Black stylist, who provides practical style tips for women of all sizes, with a focus on embracing your natural body shape.
5. Sew Your Own Style: This YouTube channel by a Black fashion designer teaches women how to sew clothes that flatter their body type, offering tutorials on customizing your wardrobe.
6. Afrostyle Magazine: An online magazine that highlights Black fashion designers, stylists, and models. It offers inspiration and tips on how to dress with confidence at any age and size.
7. Naturally Fashionable: A blog focused on fashion, beauty, and lifestyle for Black women over 40. The blog covers outfit ideas, style tips, and body positivity.

Embracing Confidence in My Present Body: Loving Who I Am Now

Let’s take a moment to talk about something that often gets lost in the shuffle of health journeys: feeling confident in your present body. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “I’ll be happy when I lose the weight,” but the truth is, your body deserves love and confidence right now, as it is.

I’m learning that embracing my current body is just as important as working toward my health goals. Confidence isn’t a size; it’s a mindset. So, whether you’re in the midst of a transformation or just starting out, remember that your body is worthy of love, respect, and a killer outfit at any stage of the journey.

Curious about how self-care can support your health journey? Dive into my post on Managing Anxiety Through Fitness & Self-Care to discover how staying active and nurturing yourself can play a vital role in both mental and physical well-being. It’s all about finding balance and feeling your best—inside and out!

Building Confidence Through Fashion: Strut Your Stuff

Clothes have this magical ability to make you feel amazing. I find that wearing well-fitting, stylish clothes boosts my self-esteem like nothing else. I remember slipping into a chic wrap dress one day and feeling a surge of confidence. It was like the old me was back, ready to take on the world.

Experiment with your style. Try new things. Mix and match. The goal is to find what makes you feel fabulous. And trust me, you will find it.

Interactive Poll: How Do You Feel About Your Current Body?

Let’s get interactive! I want to hear from you. Take a moment to participate in this poll and share your thoughts:

• How confident do you feel in your current body?
• Do you believe you can love your body while still working towards health goals?
• What’s your go-to outfit that makes you feel unstoppable?

Your feedback helps us create more content that resonates with our community, so don’t be shy—vote and share your thoughts!

Transitioning to a Healthier Me: A Sneak Peek

As I continue on this journey of embracing my new body, I’m also taking meaningful steps towards reclaiming my health and confidence. In the next blog post, I’ll dive into the specific actions I’m taking to get back to feeling like myself—both physically and emotionally.

Embrace and Empower

So, there you have it. My journey from size 4 to size 10, and all the fashion adventures in between. Remember, it’s not about the number on the tag but how you feel in your clothes. Embrace your new body, dress for confidence, and strut your stuff like the queen you are.

Stay tuned for the next blog post where I’ll share my fitness goals, healthy habits, and the positive changes I’m making to rediscover and love the person I am today. Until then, keep shining, keep styling, and remember—you are fabulous at any size.

With love and style,
Quincy B