Alright girlies, let’s talk about how much life can change in just a year. This time last year, I was living with my youngest niece, barely speaking to my son, and scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy while battling some of the worst anxiety of my life. Fast forward to now: I’m here, at home solo, with a stronger bond with my son and (thankfully!) and 8 months without an anxiety attack. However, I sometimes have physical symptoms, but progress is progress, right? Oh, and did I mention I have a man now, too?
This season feels completely different. Quieter, yes, but in the best way possible. My nieces have their own plans, and my son will be working. So, this year, I’m shaking things up and volunteering. Giving back feels like a beautiful way to connect and make the season meaningful, even while I’m on my own.
Related Post: If you’re curious about the journey my son and I have been on, I share more of that here.
Before we dive into how I’m making the most of this holiday season, take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you really feeling as the holidays approach? Be honest. This season is all about showing up for yourself, so ask: What do I need this year, and how can I make space for that?.
1. Mindful Volunteering with a Purpose
This year, I’m adding a layer of meaning to my season by volunteering at Normalize Therapy Cafe for Thanksgiving. It’s a space that champions mental wellness, community, and genuine conversation—right up my alley. For anyone navigating the holidays solo, giving back can be a lifeline of connection and fulfillment. And let’s be real: nothing lifts the spirits like spreading a little joy.
Volunteering in spaces that align with your values makes you feel like you’re part of something bigger. And trust me, it’s proof that even when you’re navigating the holidays solo, you’re never truly alone.
Reflection: If you could volunteer anywhere, what cause would light you up?.
- Expert Resource: “How Volunteering Can Benefit Your Mental Health” by American Psychological Association – Insights from experts on the mental and emotional benefits of giving back, especially during high-stress times like the holidays.
2. Set Boundaries and Protect Your Peace
The holidays can come with a side of pressure to say yes to every invite and appease everyone’s expectations. As a lifetime people pleaser, I usually run myself thin trying to make it to every invite. Not this year! I’m prioritizing peace, which means saying no to anything that doesn’t vibe with my energy. Setting boundaries is like gifting yourself a stress-free holiday. More energy for the moments and people that truly bring joy? Yes, please. And girl, you deserve that.
Reflection: What holiday commitment gives you more stress than joy? Is it time to say goodbye to it?
- Related Article: “Setting Boundaries During the Holidays” from Psychology Today – Practical advice on navigating family dynamics and creating holiday boundaries that protect your mental well-being.
- Podcast Suggestion: “Therapy Chat” Episode on Holiday Boundaries – This episode delves into ways to set holiday boundaries that honor personal peace and prevent stress.
Setting boundaries is like gifting yourself a stress-free holiday. More energy for the moments and people that truly bring joy? Yes, please. And girl, you deserve that.
3. Decorating with Family: Reviving Old Traditions
While I won’t be decking my own halls this year, I’m helping my mom and sister decorate at our parents’ place. It’s been years since we did this together, and it feels like stepping into a time machine. Except this time, I’m holding the reins. For those of us navigating the holidays solo, this type of shared activity can create a sense of connection to family. Holidays don’t have to look the way they used to, they can be a mix of old-school nostalgia and new-school simplicity. And yes, we’re keeping it easy because nobody has time for tinsel drama.
Why This Matters: Decorating with family, even if it’s not your own space, can be a heartwarming way to reconnect and find joy. For those navigating the holidays solo or reimagining traditions, moments like this bring back that feeling of warmth and togetherness.
Decor Inspiration Resource: “Minimalist Christmas Decor Ideas” by Homes & Gardens – Perfect for creating meaningful, understated holiday decorations that keep the focus on what really matters.
4. Solo Adventures and Day Trips
Instead of the same old routine, I’m planning a little holiday/birthday retreat close to home. Adding novelty to the season brings a little excitement and gives me something to look forward to.
Reflection: What local spot have you always wanted to check out? Make it your holiday date with yourself.
Book Suggestion: “The Art of Travel” by Alain de Botton – A philosophical take on solo adventures and finding meaning in exploration, perfect for those looking to add a touch of adventure to their holiday season.
5. Ritual of Reflection and Intention Setting
I’m dedicating time this season to reflect on the past year and set intentions for what’s next. I’ll be lighting a candle, grabbing my journal, and letting the memories of the year flow. If last year was anything, it was a Lifetime movie with unexpected twists, messy moments, and the whole cinematic package. But here we are, leaning into growth. For anyone navigating the holidays solo, reflection can help bring a sense of purpose and peace, setting you up for the new year with gratitude and clarity.
(Pro tip: it’s okay if those reflections include messy moments. We’re all a work in progress.)
Reflection: What’s one lesson from this year you want to carry with you?
Expert Video: “End-of-Year Reflection & Intention Setting” by Dr. Nicole LePera – Dr. LePera guides viewers through a reflective exercise that’s perfect for closing out the year mindfully.
Mindfulness Guide: Download my Mindfulness Guide for simple ways to stay present during the holiday whirlwind.
6. Host a Small ‘Friendsmas’ or Solo Festive Dinner
I’m planning a simple dinner just for two with the new Boo. He will visit his family earlier in the day and then we’ll spend the evening together. For those navigating the holidays solo, even a simple dinner can feel special. This isn’t about a Pinterest-perfect evening; it’s about savoring the time in a way that feels genuine.
Related Podcast: “Holiday Meal Ideas for One” by The Splendid Table. For meals that are low on stress but high on flavor.
7. Create a Seasonal Self-Care “Tool Kit”
I’m putting together a little holiday self-care kit with cozy essentials, my Kindle to read my fav book, grounding mat, crystals, candles and of course my journal. It’s my go-to for unwinding, and it’s something I can look forward to each evening.
Related Resource: “Self-Care for the Holiday Season” from National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Because we all need a reminder that it’s okay to put ourselves first
Additional Ideas for Your Solo Holiday
Need more inspiration for making your holiday special? Try these:
- DIY Spa Night: Treat yourself to face masks, essential oils, and a playlist that makes you feel like the main character.
- Holiday Movie Marathon: PJs, your favorite snacks, and a string of feel-good holiday films.
- Virtual Cheers: Host a video call with friends and share your holiday moments.
- Get Creative: Try your hand at a new recipe or craft project. If it goes sideways, that’s part of the fun.
- Gratitude Journal: Jot down one thing each day that makes you smile, big or small.
Reflect, Recharge, and Celebrate Your Way
Navigating the holidays solo doesn’t mean sacrificing joy. Embrace the stillness, create new traditions, and give yourself permission to feel all the emotions that come with this season. Your solo season might look different, but it can be just as fulfilling.
Things to Remember:
- Volunteering, like at Normalize Therapy Cafe, can add purpose and connection.
- Setting boundaries protects your mental peace.
- Minimalism brings focus and peace to your home.
- Solo adventures spark joy and novelty.
- Reflecting and setting intentions pave the way for a fresh start.
- A self-care kit keeps you cozy and centered.
Join the Conversation: I’d love to hear how you’re making this holiday season your own. What new traditions are you starting? Drop a comment or join us in the Journey with Quincy Facebook group for more shared stories and inspiration. Let’s create a season full of warmth and joy, solo and proud.
